Like A Ton Of Bricks

I have been reading the book Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero for nearly a half year. The reason it has taken me so long is because there is a LOT of meat in this book to chew on. I have been trudging through it slowly so as not to miss any morsel that God has placed on my spiritual plate.

Today I read one FULL chapter (yes it was so good I couldn’t put it down) and I was completely blessed. I feel led today to share one area where God really hit me today and share it with you. The Chapter title is “Going Back in Order to Go Forward: Breaking the Power of the Past”. In this chapter Scazzero talks about how our past directly shapes our future. He uses the family as the crux of his chapter as to how we need to deal with some of our baggage from the past (or “imprints” in our lives that cause us to act a certain way) in order for us to move forward.

Without getting into the full details of the chapter I want to focus on one section titled THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF YOUR FAMILY. He writes, “We often underestimate the deep, unconscious imprint our families of origin leave on us. In fact, my observation is that it is only as we grow older that we realize the depth of their influences. Each of our family members, or those who raised us through childhood, has ‘imprinted’ certain ways of behaving and thinking into us. These behavioral patterns operate under a set of ‘commandments.’ Some of them are spoken and explicit. Most are unspoken.”[1]

As I chewed on this I not only read it in the context of our biological family history and baggage but I also read it in the context of the following “Ten Commandments” that are ingrained in our hearts and minds can also be said about our Church family we are part of as well.

Many of these “Commandments” are “hardwired into our brains” that we so often bring these expectations to our family (church) and ultimately it shapes (not in a healthy way) who we are and how we fit into the body of Christ.

1. MONEY
• Money is the best source of security.
• The more money you have, the more important you are.
• Make lots of money to prove you “made” it.
2. CONFLICT
• Avoid conflict at all costs.
• Don’t get people mad at you.
• Loud, angry, constant fighting is normal.
3. SEX
• Sex is not to be spoken about openly.
• Men can be promiscuous, women must be chase.
• Sexuality in marriage will come easily.
4. GRIEF AND LOSS
• Sadness is a sign of weakness.
• You are not allowed to be depressed.
• Get over losses quickly and move on.
5. EXPRESSING ANGER
• Anger is dangerous and bad.
• Exploding in anger makes a point.
• Sarcasm is an acceptable way to release anger.
6. FAMILY
• You owe your parents for all they’ve done for you.
• Don’t speak of your family’s “dirty laundry” in public.
• Duty to family and culture comes before everything.
7. RELATIONSHIPS
• Don’t trust people. They will let you down.
• Nobody will ever hurt me again.
• Don’t show vulnerability.
8. ATTITUDES TOWARDS DIFFERENT CULTURES
• Only be close friends with people who are like you.
• Do not marry a person of another race or culture.
• Certain cultures/races are not as good as mine.
9. SUCCESS
• Is getting into the “best schools”.
• Is making lots of money.
• Is getting married and having lots of children.
10. FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS
• You are not allowed to have certain feelings.
• Your feelings are not important.
• Reacting with your feelings without thinking is okay.[2]

As time permits I would like to look over the next few days/weeks each commandment and write a little bit about them. The end goal is to see how we can have a healthy spiritual and emotional view of the church thus becoming an emotionally healthy spiritual church family.

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[1] Scazzero, Peter, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality (Nashville, TN Thomas Nelson, 2006 ), p.90

[2] Ibid 90, 91

Healthy Leadership

5 Signs of Healthy Leadership Teams.

1) They trust one another - Without trust a team cannot function effectively.

2) They engage in healthy conflict around ideas - Contrary to popular belief conflict is not always bad as long as it is healthy. If you do not trust one another there will like be unhealthy conflict or apathy.

3) They commit to decisions and plans of action - The key word here is commit. Teams make decisions together and they stick to them.

4) They hold one another accountable - With trust, healthy conflict and commitment present then teams will have the freedom to hold one another accountable.

5) They focus on achieving collective results

Year End Thoughts

I cannot believe 2011 is coming to a close. It seems the older I get the faster the time goes. It is hard to believe that my family and I have been in Spring Valley for close to four and a half years. God has been faithful to us and I pray for his continual faithfulness in the year to come.

As we enter 2012 there are a lot of things I am believing God will accomplish. My number one prayer request for the year would be for our church health altogether. I am really excited about the new series I am starting in December called Christian Idols and my prayer is that this series will be an entry level series for the future health of our church. My purpose for this series is to look at the idols we Christians put in our lives that many times we fail to see as idols because they are not necessarily bad things. However anything that we place above God in our lives are considered idols no matter how good they may be. The Bible is clear that God will not tolerate idolatry among his people so as his children we need to recognize what things we have in our lives that are hindering our true worship of God. I hope you will join us on Sunday mornings as we go through this eye opening series.

In October the Deacon and Trustee boards met with the 4-C’s Director of Conference Care and Church Development John Kimball as he introduced to us a the Natural Church Development (NCD) and Vista Assessment surveys. Vista is a an assessment tool designed for the leadership of the church to help determine the mission, purpose and Spirituality of the church. The NCD is a 20 minute survey that is to be taken by active members and non-members of the church and evaluates Eight Key Principles of our church. The Principles are…

1) Empowering Leadership

2) Gifts Based Ministry

3) Passionate Spirituality

4) Effective Structures

5) Inspiring Worship

6) Holistic Small Groups

7) Need Oriented Evangelism

8) Loving Relationships

John Kimball proposed and the boards concurred that we do both the Vista Assessment and NCD. The Boards are currently determining the date we would like to administer the NCD and it is important if you are an active attendee of Spring Valley Congregational Church to be willing to take this survey. After taking the survey the results will be compiled and areas of concern will be addressed. Please keep your eyes open for the date and time for this survey as we need about 30 to 40 participants in order for us to get an accurate look at the health of our church. If you would like more information on this process please feel free to contact me.

I would like to invite you to join with me in praying for the coming new year and ask that God would provide all we need in order to have a healthy and effective ministry here in Spring Valley. Join me in thanking God for his blessings on the youth ministry and in his blessings of our new members which will be installed by years end.

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas! I look forward to celebrating our Saviors birth at the Candle light service and Christmas morning.

Book Review

If God Is Good: Faith In the Midst of Suffering & Evil
Randy Alcorn
Multnomah Books

I don’t know how many times I have heard people say, “If God is so good then why does he allow suffering and pain?” but it is a lot. I think it is a good and valid question and is not easily answered. There are a number of books out today that deal with this question and as far as I am concerned most of them are not very good. They spend so much time making excuses for God or use philosophical analogies that don’t necessarily pertain to the trueness of God. However, when I picked up Randy Alcorn’s “If God Is Good…” I found this book to be one of the best, most comprehensive and honest books on the issue of suffering and evil. Alcorn brings a fresh and biblical perspective to these issues and does so in an easy to read format that is loaded with scripture references to back up his findings. He also uses many examples of men and women throughout history whose lives have been affected greatly by pain, suffering and evil and still have a faith (although challenged at times) that remains stronger than ever.

“If God Is Good…” is an excellent read for anyone who is struggling with the question of why God allows suffering and pain. It is also a great companion for those in the midst of suffering and trials in their own lives presently. It’s not a light read as it is nearly 500 pages but is worth the time investment.

I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review

Book Review

Enemies of the Heart
Andy Stanley
Multnomah Books

In Andy Stanley’s book Enemies of the Heart he writes about “The Terrifying truth of what lurks in your heart”. As I read I was reminded of many things concerning our hearts. There are two types of heart spoken of in the Bible. There is the physical muscle that pumps blood through the body, and the Spiritual (or nonphysical) heart which is “that mysterious, wonderful confusing part of you that enables you to love, laugh, fear and experience life. It is the sphere in which relationship happens. And it is the sphere in which relationships are broken.” This is the type of heart Jesus spoke about throughout the Gospels. Both hearts are equally important in regards to life and both are the central command center for healthy living.

Both hearts have one thing in common and this is the dreaded heart disease. Pastor Andy Stanley defines them as the “four enemies of the heart” which are anger, jealousy, greed and guilt. Each enemy has the potential to eat away at relationships, moral fiber and most importantly our relationship with God. Any of these symptoms in our lives is a sign of an unhealthy heart.

According to Stanley, “The world is full of outside forces that have the power to disrupt the rhythm of your heart… the inevitable pain and disappointments of life have caused you to set up walls around your heart… but the truth is your heart is out of sync with the rhythm it was created to maintain.” Jesus states in Matthew 12:33 – “For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.” One of the ways we can check our hearts is by checking the words we speak or the way we treat others. Do your words and actions match up with the Savior you proclaim?

Like most heart disease, it doesn’t just appear overnight. Usually it is the result neglect and allowing impurities into our systems that causes damage to our hearts. In the same way, our road to a healthy heart is not an overnight process; it will take some hard work and time to get back on the road to health. The first step to recovery is identifying the problem and taking action from there.

How are things with your heart?

“I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review”

Wall Quotes and Picture Frames (Part 5)

“It’s one thing to dream, but when the moment is right, you’ve got to be willing to leave what’s familiar and go out and find your own sound.”

Howard Schultz

The above quote is from chairman and CEO of Starbuck’s Howard Shultz and it really hit home when I read it. I think what Schultz is saying is it is important to dream but there is a time when one needs to go from dreaming to doing. As a church and a pastor we/I need to dream about the future. It is important to make plans and have a vision for the future and I/we must realize that in our dreaming, visioning and planning there will be a time where we need to make the jump from dreaming to doing. As the quote says, “You’ve got to be willing to leave what is familiar…” This usually involves change.

What does it mean to find your own sound? Personally I think it means you have to be willing to go out and become who God created YOU to be and not what people think you should be.

As a church I believe it means that we have to become what God wants us to be and not what we or others think we should be. This may and probably does mean we need to be willing to seek God’s plan and purpose for us and not try to fit a human made definition of what is called “the church”. It means we should be more than just a service or program on Sunday morning. We need to be more about being and not just showing up and doing. We don’t attend church we are the church. We are to be a group of believers who unashamedly love God, loves people and are disciples of Jesus who go out and make disciples of Jesus. This is the dream I have for my life and our church.

Are you willing to leave behind the familiar to pursue your own sound? Are we as a body of Christ willing to leave the familiar? I know we like the familiar. We like safe. We enjoy the “norm”. We like to sit in the same pews week after week. But is God calling us to a familiar, safe, normal sit in same pew kind of faith day after day? From what I read in the Bible God/Jesus is continually commanding/asking us to leave what is familiar and safe to follow him and sometimes that journey is unknown, dangerous and wild. We see this is the cases with Moses, Joseph, Abraham, Jonah, all of the disciples, and so on. May we learn from these men of faith. Let’s not be afraid to dream in our lives and in our church. May we be willing to leave the familiar and allow God to work in us so that we can find our own sound.

Wall Quotes and Picture Frames (Part 4)

"The sovereign selection of God gives great confidence to the Christian workers. We can truly say, ’I am here neither by selection of an individual nor election of a group, but by the almighty appointment of God.’”

J. Oswald Chambers

“How did you end up here?” This is usually the response I get when I am asked by a local why I moved from Western PA to Spring Valley, WI. I always answer, tongue in cheek, “I still haven’t figured out how I got here yet.” The truth is (and I always say this after my joke) I am here not because I chose to come here; nor am I here because I was the one person selected out of many to be the pastor of this church. I am here simply because God has appointed me. This truth gives me great confidence in where I am personally and as a pastor. I am here because of God. This truth should give the members of the church great confidence. Why? Because if God is the one doing the appointing then nothing and I mean nothing can change the fact that we are in his will. In Romans 8:31 the Apostle Paul writes, “If God is for us then who can be against us?” He answers this hypothetical question in verses 35—39 God is in control of all and victory belongs to those who are in Jesus Christ. In these verses he goes through a list of possible “things” that can separate from the love of God. He concludes that he is CONVINCED there is NOTHING that can separate from the love of God. This is where my confidence lies and should give you great hope and confidence

The quote from J. Oswald Chambers is probably one of the oldest quotes I have had on my wall. For over ten years I have read this (almost daily) to remind me of why I am where I am today. There are times when I question my calling as a pastor and all I need is to be reminded… I am not a pastor in the Upper Midwest because I chose or was chosen by people, I am here by the sovereign selection of God. This means I will remain here until God has revealed both to me and the church any different. This gives me (and hopefully you) great joy and confidence that we are right where God wants us. There is nothing better than being right smack dab in the middle of where God has put us.

How about you? Are you confident God has put you where you are? Can you say that you are where you are not because you or anyone else put you there but because God in his sovereignty selected you to be where you are today?