Ephesians 5:22 -32
Vs 22: – I am not going to beat around the bush, this topic/passage has been a source of tension for many people when they read it. There are varying opinions as to how it is translated. One of the unfortunate things is that so much emphasis is put on the word and meaning of submit. Many feminists will use this passage as proof that Christianity is archaic, irrelevant and oppressive to women. When in fact this passage is not so much about wives submitting and husbands ruling as it is about Jesus Christ and the love he has shown to his bride (the church) through his example of love and marriage.
“Wives submit to your husbands” – When some women hear this it is almost like fingernails scraping the chalkboard. When some men hear this you may stand up and say, “PREACH IT!” But let’s not put the cart before the horse because there is a lot to follow in this passage. In fact I am going to push pause right here and go down to verse 25 so this passage could be looked at in its proper context.
Vs 25 – 26: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,” Did you hear this men? You are to love your wife as Christ loved the church… Did Christ love the church selfishly? Nope. Did Christ love the church because she submitted to him? Nope. Does Jesus love the church because we love him back? Nope. Does Jesus love the church because she makes him feel good about himself? Negative. Does Jesus love the church because we do things for him? He loves the church sacrificially and unconditionally as he gave himself for her. He gave himself for the church regardless of what the church did for him (this is grace). You see men, we have an obligation and a responsibility to our wives to love them sacrificially and to serve them lovingly and to lead them as a loving shepherd like Jesus did for his bride. It is time husbands stop spending time demanding their wives submit and start focusing on loving their wives and seeking Jesus in their lives so they can love and lead their wives the way Christ loves and leads the Church. Husbands/men when we can fully grasp the love Christ showed to humanity through his sacrifice and death we will then know how to love our wives the proper way. Husbands we are called to be spiritual leaders, protectors and providers for our wives. We are to treat our wives the way Christ treats the church. Husbands who are filled with the Spirit will serve their wives and lift them up and take on the role of a servant leader who lovingly leads his home but selflessly serves the needs and desires of his wife. This is not rocket science.
Submission
Back to submission. I do like John Piper’s definition of this word, “Submission is the divine calling of a wife to honor and affirm her husband’s leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts.”
One of the best ways to clarify this is by stating what submission is not.
Vs 22: – I am not going to beat around the bush, this topic/passage has been a source of tension for many people when they read it. There are varying opinions as to how it is translated. One of the unfortunate things is that so much emphasis is put on the word and meaning of submit. Many feminists will use this passage as proof that Christianity is archaic, irrelevant and oppressive to women. When in fact this passage is not so much about wives submitting and husbands ruling as it is about Jesus Christ and the love he has shown to his bride (the church) through his example of love and marriage.
“Wives submit to your husbands” – When some women hear this it is almost like fingernails scraping the chalkboard. When some men hear this you may stand up and say, “PREACH IT!” But let’s not put the cart before the horse because there is a lot to follow in this passage. In fact I am going to push pause right here and go down to verse 25 so this passage could be looked at in its proper context.
Vs 25 – 26: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,” Did you hear this men? You are to love your wife as Christ loved the church… Did Christ love the church selfishly? Nope. Did Christ love the church because she submitted to him? Nope. Does Jesus love the church because we love him back? Nope. Does Jesus love the church because she makes him feel good about himself? Negative. Does Jesus love the church because we do things for him? He loves the church sacrificially and unconditionally as he gave himself for her. He gave himself for the church regardless of what the church did for him (this is grace). You see men, we have an obligation and a responsibility to our wives to love them sacrificially and to serve them lovingly and to lead them as a loving shepherd like Jesus did for his bride. It is time husbands stop spending time demanding their wives submit and start focusing on loving their wives and seeking Jesus in their lives so they can love and lead their wives the way Christ loves and leads the Church. Husbands/men when we can fully grasp the love Christ showed to humanity through his sacrifice and death we will then know how to love our wives the proper way. Husbands we are called to be spiritual leaders, protectors and providers for our wives. We are to treat our wives the way Christ treats the church. Husbands who are filled with the Spirit will serve their wives and lift them up and take on the role of a servant leader who lovingly leads his home but selflessly serves the needs and desires of his wife. This is not rocket science.
Submission
Back to submission. I do like John Piper’s definition of this word, “Submission is the divine calling of a wife to honor and affirm her husband’s leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts.”
One of the best ways to clarify this is by stating what submission is not.
1) You are not
obligated to agree with your husband in everything.
2) Does not mean
you cannot think for yourself, offer advice or talk things through with your husband.
3) Does not mean
you are meek, weak and never speak.
4) Does not mean
you put your husbands will before God’s will.
5) Does not mean
you act out of fear or intimidation.
6) Submission
does not follow a husband into sin.
What men fail to realize is that submitting doesn’t just fall on
the shoulders of the wife. Submission is intended to be a gloriously
beautiful act. It is not intended to oppress or enslave; it is intended
to be freeing so a woman can love serve and respect her husband in the way she
loves serve and respects Jesus. As men we are to submit to the headship
of Jesus and we are to mutually submit to and respect our wives out of
reverence for Christ. Here is how I see this passage is supposed to work.
a) Spirit filled husbands and wives are to
submit to Jesus Christ because he is the head.
b) Wives are to submit to their husbands
because he is the head of the family like Christ is the head of the church.
Not out of fear and slavery but in freedom and joy. It is important
to note that the husband is not Christ; he is to model his life after Jesus.
Ultimately Jesus is the head of the wife as well.
c) Headship is not a right to
control or to abuse or to neglect. It is the incredible joy and privilege
for husbands to love their wives in the same way Jesus loves the Church (by
providing, protecting and through servant leadership). Jesus loves his
bride so much he gave himself to the point of death for her. Men this is
our calling. Wives you have the freedom to allow your husband to protect,
provide and lead but you also have the joy in being a mutual partner in the
marriage relationship.
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