What is marriage? Is it and I quote from the classic film Princess Bride, “Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam...: And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva.” Is marriage truly just about love, attraction and living a fairy tale marriage that is easy and magnificent? Certainly love and attraction have roles in the union of two individuals and we all strive for a wonderful marriage. But is that the glue that holds it all together? Is the key to a successful marriage found in finding the “right partner” that will make you happy forever and ever? I would suggest it is more than this.
Over the years I have counseled a good number of men and women before they entered into "wedded bliss." Some of the couples I have married are still flourishing and others came to an abrupt end. One question I ask when counseling is… “Why do you want to get married?” Usually (not always) the answer is, “We want to get married because we love each other and want to be happy and spend the rest of our lives together.” Who doesn’t right? Timothy Keller writes very early in his book THE MEANING OF MARRIAGE, “While marriage is many things, it is anything but sentimental. Marriage is glorious but hard. It is a burning joy and strength, and yet it is blood sweat and tears, humbling defeats and exhausting victories. No marriage I know more than a few weeks old could be described as a fairy tale come true… At times, your marriage seems to be an unsolvable puzzle, a maze in which you feel lost.” John Piper in his book THIS MOMENTARY MARRIAGE writes, “Marriage is not mainly about being or staying in love. It’s mainly about telling the truth with our lives. It’s about portraying something true about Jesus Christ and the way he relates to his people. It is about showing in real life the glory of the gospel… Marriage is meant by God to put the gospel reality on display in the world.” Keller and Piper do not suggest that love has no part to play in marriage because it does; they are saying that true marriage is not rooted in romanticism, or keeping that “feeling” of love burning bright because there are times when romance and high school love is not present and we face difficulties in marriage. This is why ultimately the sacrament or institution of marriage is rooted in Jesus (which always results in true love). We will see (tomorrow Lord willing) in the end marriage is a profound mystery and it is a mystery that can only be understood when we see the foundation is in Jesus Christ.
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