I remember back in 2000 when my first daughter was born and I experienced a special kind of love and connection with another human that I had never experienced before. The idea of being a parent scared the daylight out of me and I had no clue what to expect in raising a daughter . I did and do know, however that I alongside my wife we have the joyful responsibility to raise our children to be respectful, kind and followers of Jesus Christ. We as parents also have the privilege of being our children’s provider, protector, instructor and examples. Ultimately I (nor can any person) force my children to love God and become followers of Jesus Christ. The only thing I can do is instruct, pray and show them by example Jesus in my life.
Parenting can be one of the most difficult and rewarding jobs in life. If any of you are parents you know exactly what I am talking about. Unfortunately Children do not come with instruction manuals. There are certainly numbers of books, workshops and programs that can help a person to parent but we ultimately know there is no one specific way to parent a child because each child is unique.
"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 'Honor your father and mother' (this is the first commandment with a promise), 'that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.'"
Have you ever quoted this passage to your children? I know I have. I usually say it when my children are being naughty, disrespectful or disobedient. This is probably one of the most quoted passages in the Bible concerning the relationship between a parent and a child. It is a challenging passage to teach because it says so little about parenting but we like to use it as the foundation of our parenting; but beneath the surface we can see (with a little digging) that it does have a lot to say about the parent child relationship. What I have found is that it can point us in the right direction as to what parenting can and should look like.
Vs 1 - 3: In the previous passage Paul established the order of the marriage relationship. He spoke to both husbands and wives and gave them instructions on the roles each plays in marriage. In the passage today he continues his instruction as he talks about the family unit and he speaks directly to children and parents.
He begins by addressing children and commands them to obey and honor their fathers and mothers. Why is a child to be obedient to his parents? Obedience is necessary because “it is right”. From a Christian perspective God commands children to obedience because it is a sign of their relationship with Jesus. At ground level a child must be obedient simply because as the anonymous ancient author who goes by the name Ambrosiaster writes, “(children) must obey their parents because they derive their existence from them. It is therefore just that they should show respect to the people from whom they originate.”[i] However we can see at a deeper level Paul is not only speaking to children but also to parents as well. It is important to point out that before our children can be obedient they need to be instructed. As fathers and mothers we have the responsibility to bring children up in the Lord and it is equally important that both father and mother be united in effort to bringing up our children. In Proverbs 6:20 – 21 children are exhorted “keep their father’s commandments” and “not forsake their mother’s teaching.” This ultimately leads to the parent leading a child in the ways of God; to teach and instruct in the ways of the Lord (the fear of the Lord is the beginning of all wisdom). As parents our role is not to be a slave driver imposing our will on our children. We are called to love, instruct, pray and lead our children in the ways of the Lord. As we lovingly lead as parents the response of a child should be obedience because as the parents are allowing Christ to lead as the head of them they trust that they as parents are leading them in truth in love.
Not only should this result in obedience but also honor. Honor basically means that you are ascribing to you respect and worth. Now I know in modern time’s obedience and honor is not something that kids seek to show to their parents. In fact it seems the opposite is true. I have heard how some children speak to or treat their parents and I am appalled. If you don’t believe me I would invite you to come to the school someday and observe as I pick up my children. I hear children swearing at their parents, hitting them, talking back in a disrespectful manner and basically walking all over them with the parent doing little to nothing in response (I have also witnessed parents doing the same to their children and it is no wonder they act the way they do). Maybe I would be considered old fashioned but this is not how God established the parent/child relationship.
Kids, God has established your parents over you and He has entrusted you to them to bring you up in the ways of the Lord. I know there are times when you may think your mom or dad is just trying to make your life miserable (and that they actually enjoy this) but God has clearly given them the responsibility to train and instruct you in the ways of God. We may be fallible (or sinners) but God has given us the mandate to be the ones to help you to grow into young men and women who know Jesus and walk according to his ways. Like I said, we can’t impose this relationship with Jesus on you, this is your decision to make. We can only point you in the direction you need to go.
[i] Bray, Gerald L., (2009) Ancient Christian Texts:
Commentaries on Galatians – Philemon (Ambrosiaster), p. 59. Downers Grove, IL: Intervarsity Press
Academic.
No comments:
Post a Comment